What could possibly be more enticing than the savory, scanline-seared taste of late 90s commercialism? For this writer, nothing hits the spot quite like Buffet Infinity, a horror comedy film written, directed, and produced by Simon Glassman. This brand new, mouthwatering entry to the found footage subgenre has everything a moviegoer could possibly crave—analog texture, gourmet class storytelling, and character arcs you can really sink your teeth into! Pay no heed to the strange sounds creeping into the corners of your vision or the ominous noises echoing in the back of your skull. When you’re a guest at Buffet Infinity, you have nothing to worry about except what will end up on your plate next!

While Buffet Infinity caters to guests of all preferences and tastes, it is best appreciated by those with only the most discerning of palates. Told entirely through the lens of local news broadcasts and commercials, fans of projects like Dude Bro Party Massacre III, Unedited Footage of a Bear, and Local 58, will savor the format and the off-kilter tone. The nostalgic aftertaste lingers long after the credits roll, reminding of the audience of seemingly simpler, more innocent times.

Still not sure how it works? Worried the film will overstay its welcome, become repetitive, and won’t be able to sustain the momentum of its own concept? Well, that’s where you’d wrong! Buffet Infinity conveys its story with the help of recurring characters whose commercials reflect the world around them as it changes. What begins as a passive-aggressive volley between local businesses, eventually snowballs into conspiratorial and supernatural phenomena. As the titular restaurant experiences its meteoric rise in power, we see its ripples echo through the lives Westridge’s residents and business owners.

But wait! There’s more! While other films might offer you cheap tricks, bad jump-scares, and unwieldy punchlines, Buffet Infinity is all about feeding you each eerie morsel one bite at a time. This movie’s novelty format keeps the story going at a quick pace, lingering only when the tension is at its peak. With such a veritable catalog of moving parts, you’re sure to be on the edge of your seat waiting for the next big development in Westridge’s tangled web.

In these trying times, it’s easy to understand how Buffet Infinity’s story can seem nihilistic and bleak. Indeed, many of the movie’s characters wrestle with the moral quandary of what can possibly done in a world that willingly discards anyone who can no longer function as a customer. If you or your loved one is having trouble finding comfort in a movie about the voracious maw of capitalism, consider the unique craftsmanship that made this harebrained project possible. In a world where generative AI is obsessed with churning out products that are perfect, polished, and consumer-friendly, Buffet Infinity celebrates the lovable imperfections that only true humans are capable of.

So, don’t wait, and don’t miss out on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! Enjoy a mouthful of Buffet Infinity! It’s sure to become your next favorite found footage foray into a world obsessed with consuming the consumer.